It's hard to understand sometimes why certain things happen in our lives...why we have to deal with various illnesses, or losses, or see our loved ones suffering, or even be going thro' our own ordeals.
I keep praying about things, but find it difficult to understand why I don't always see answers to those requests. I'm slowing learning to realize that everything has to work according to God's own time & plans, and that sometimes when we don't always see the answers to certain things, it's not because God hasn't heard those requests, but that He has His own plan for things, and that sometimes we have to learn to wait for the answers. I've also come to realize that sometimes God does say NO. I can't begin to say I understand why or how come things work that way. I know as a parent there are times when I have to learn to say no to my children. Sometimes that's not always what I want to do, but for various reasons, no sometimes has to be the answer & response to some things. We have to learn to look at things, and make decisions according to what we see & know. Sometimes it hurts to say no, and sometimes it hurts to say yes, and to allow my children to take wing and to learn to start going out on their own and making their own choices. I suppose our heavenly father is the same way. There is only so much He can do for us, and He has given us all the freedom of 'choice', and making our own choices, even tho' sometimes we make the wrong choices, and have to suffer because of them. We all have to learn the difference between right and wrong. We also have to learn communicate with our parents and our children and with others all around us. In the same way, God wants us to learn to communicate with Him, by reading His word, and by talking to Him in our daily walk, and fellowshiping with others. It's hard to know what someone is thinking if they don't communicate. We certainly have many advantages open to us nowadays that we can use for communicating. We can talk in person with someone, we can phone them, we can write them or we can email them, but we have to take that step of reaching out and trying to communicate, and talk to others. I'm not saying it's easy for everyone. I know it's sure not for me. I struggle everyday with reaching out and learning to talk to others and to communicate my feelings.When we are able to talk to others, it can be a blessing sometimes for both parties, and be a way to let others know you care about them. Sometimes it's a way to just let others know how you yourself are feeling, as well as to share & be encouraged. Sometimes when I do share something, it's only to be cut down or discouraged because of what I might say or how I think, and then I find myself withdrawing and backing off, and not wanting to even try and share with that person again. Sometimes the trials & problems of my life feel overwhelming and I just can't move past them, and I struggle with the feelings of depression and not being able to reach out to others. It's during those times when I need someone to reach out to me and to try and understand what I'm going thro' or to just listen. It's during those times it's sometimes hard to even reach out to God and to pray or to read my bible. I know there are others out there who have felt that way as well, and that I'm not alone. It just feels that way sometimes. I do know that no matter what, I am not alone...that God is there ALWAYS, and He will listen and reach out and understand when I certainly don't. He loves me despite my failures and despite my sins. In the same way, I love my children no matter what. They are a part of me, and I love them with all of my heart & soul, and I know that my love doesn't compare to the love God has for me or for others. He is a loving God, and when we make mistakes, sometimes He may punish us, when we make choices that go against His wishes, or desires for us, He may also step back and allow us to learn from our mistakes, because we do have the freedom of choice. That's what I do must learn to do with my own children. Sometimes I just feel like He is so far away, and that the problems in my life will overtake everything else. It's during those times I need to keep trusting in my Father to look after me and to help me get thro' those times. He also wants us to reach out to others in Love, and to uphold them in prayer.
No matter what our needs or desires, we just need to know that God is there for us and He just wants us to follow HIM, and reach out to Him thro' all we deal with.