May 30th...Just another ordinary day...?

It's May 30, 2006
Just another ordinary day...?
Well, it was my dog Priscilla's 1st birthday, and no I didn't do anything to celebrate. I was babysitting my two youngest grandchildren today. I was also very thankful that J. was at home and available to help out with them. It was also the hottest day of the year so far. The temperature on the thermometer got up to 34oCelcius today. It was HOT. I don't know how people in some of those warmer climates manage to stand the extreme temperatures that they get. I suppose their bodies grow accustomed to the heat when they live with it for so long. Trouble is, here in Canada, we have basically four season's to our climate. Winter, spring, summer & autumn(fall). Right now we are still supposed to be in spring. Only a week ago it was so cold here we were getting snow and having to wear out winter coats once again. Now it's so hot you can hardly stand it. Our bodies don't even have a chance to adapt to the changes properly. Our blood doesn't know if it should welcome the cold or the heat. Seems summer is coming earlier each year, and our season's are all mixed up.
This week seems to be a rather busy one, with so many things scheduled and going on. J is home all week as she chose not to go on her year end class trip. Last night I had a meeting, tonight I had a meeting, and tomorrow I have a meeting...not to mention the various things going on during the days.
This evening E. came home and went off hunting for wild turkey right away and came home some time during the evening while I was still out. He plans to do the same tomorrow evening, and when he comes home, he's off to bed. So seems we are ending this month off with a busy schedule, much like how many other days & weeks end up.
I don't like to be out so much, especially in the evenings when the girls are home, but they too seem to be developing their own schedules as well. It is surprising how many others live their lives this way, but somehow seem to find or make time together for family events.

Today is almost over....in 37 minutes from this moment. Twenty five years ago today, E & I were married. Yes, it is, or was our 25th wedding anniversary. I suppose a big event for some.... but even our wedding day didn't go as we had planned twenty five years ago. We had planned on going off on a honeymoon in Niagara Falls. We had been told it was the honeymoon capital. We never did make that trip.

My mom suffered her first major heart attack that day, and ended up in the hospital. I couldn't leave town not knowing what was happening. Apparently it was quite severe and she had damaged her heart extensively, because she had been experiencing the chest pain since the night before and didn't say anything as she didn't want to spoil my wedding. That was the beginning of many hospital stays for my mom. That same year she also went through a triple by-pass with open heart surgery. After her surgery she seemed to be better for awhile, although she ended up in and out of hospital with various other problems with her arthritis, her back, her hips...etc. My folks went thro' a period where they felt they wanted to follow their hearts dream and move to Manitoulin Island. They lived up there for several years, but there were also a few scares with mom's heart and they were lonely and too far away to visit very often. They missed their children, and their grandchildren, so another move was made back to live with my brother. It was nice to have them back living closer, and being able to visit with them. I know they were a lot happier being nearby their family. My son was much older by this time and out on his own, so we began making plans for a honeymoon/trip. We were going to take the motorcycle and go out to the east coast. A few months before we were actually thinking of going, I found out I was pregnant. If I could manage to carry this child to full term it would be a real miracle after all my previous disappointments. For this reason, we also cancelled our motorcycle trip, and announced to our family that I was actually pregnant, and the doctor's were using some higher doseages of progesterone to help me maintain my pregnancy. It was a miracle and we were blessed with a beautiful, healthy daughter. My parents offered to help me out when I eventually would return to work and said they wanted to babysit. That helped me out a lot for the first little while, but it was not to be. My mom suffered a really bad bout of congestive heart failure. Her health was failing ,and she just wouldn't be up to looking after her grandaughter any longer, and it would be too much for my father to manage. Thankfully I was able to find a lovely Christian lady who was willing to look after our daughter, so I could continue working. I also ended up spending a little more time running back and forth from the hospital as the congestive heart failure worstened. Sometimes there were longer periods between the bouts, but it was often a great concern and worry for me. When I found out I was pregnant again, we were both so happy. Unfortunately I suffered yet another miscarriage, so life continued on. Then I discovered once again that I was pregnant. I started back on the special treatments, and once again we were blessed with another pregnancy, and a beautiful little girl. This time the delivery was very difficult , and I hemhorraged so badly they almost lost me. I couldn't even get out of bed or sit up because of the horrible pain I was experiencing. I grew very weak and couldn't even get out of bed to change my newborn's diaper. I was stuck in the hospital unable to look after my two year old, and my newborn. After several proceedures, and a number of blood transfusions, they managed to save me, and after 8 days in bed, I was finally able to get up and move around. It was a very slow process, but I continued to get better. While my parents loved spending time with their two grandaughters, my mom's health was getting worse. Her back was bad, her hips not too good, and her heart was failing. Thankfully she was able to witness her newest grandaughter take her first few steps and then eventually begin walking all over. The trips to the hospital were becoming more urgent and more frequent, and her recovery taking longer and longer.
Only a short time before my parents anniversary, my mom was once again rushed into the hospital with congestive heart failure. This time it really took it's tole on her. Her hospital stay was not a pleasant one, and something I won't get into now. Once night she fell, and from then on, she was in a lot of pain, and gradually going downhill. That Sunday morning I decided not to attend church, but felt compelled to go and visit her. I'm glad I did, as I found her all alone, sitting shivering with no one helping her. Anyway, after I got her cleaned up and dressed and into bed. While I was sitting there talking to her she died. The whole situation was not a good one, but I was thankful that I had at least been there with her.
A lot has happened in my life since that day that she died, both with my children, my marriage, job situations, etc. My dad's health eventually got bad and he ended up having to be put on dialysis. Now his vision is failing. He had to quit driving last summer after he had celebrated his 80th birthday. It really is sad to think about what many senior's experience in their supposed 'golden' years. That's another story for later. Life goes on.
So we didn't end up doing anything special for our anniversary, nor did anyone really even remember it was our anniversary much less our 25th. That's ok...we will survive, and once again, life does go on.

Priscilla approx. 5 weeks old

Happy Birthday Priscilla.
You are 1 year old on May 30, 2006.

Love in the Little Things

Love in the Little Things.
(Just a little poem I tried to write)



We don't have a great big mansion

our house needs a lot of repairs,



We don't drive a fancy limo

Just some old ones in need of some care



We rarely go out to the restaurants,

But we do get enough to eat



We don't get to go on the airplanes

Or off to some fancy resort.



We're lucky to find time for vacation

Or a place we can go to relax.



We don't wear expensive clothing

Or worry about things being in style.



We go off to the stores & the outlets

And look for cheap prices & sales



Our TV has the minimal channels,

But at least we can turn it on.



We still have some basic conveniences

Like a microwave, washer & dryer.



We still have a toaster & kettle, & also a coffee machine.

And we still have a fridge and a stove.



We don't have a house that is spotless,

But at least we have a place to live.



Our bills aren't always caught up,

But we do the best that we can.



We don't have a great deal to offer,

But we will learn to survive.



Our Father in Heaven is watching o'er us

And He will be there to provide.



For it's all in the little things around us,

And His love that we can always find.

Blogging, writing, reading....

Have you ever wondered why people blog? Do they blog for the fun of it, for the chance to put their thoughts down in writing, for the audience...or for other reasons? When I first started blogging, I did it for my own benefit. For the chance to put some of my thoughts down in writing, and after awhile, I started doing it as much for myself as I was perhaps doing it with the realization that others might be reading it. Do the comments of others really matter? I used to think no, but there are times I looked to see if there were any comments and found myself a little disappointed. I'm not really sure why either, because as I say, my original plan when I started this was for my own benefit.

Blogging is a way of making contact with others...that is if they happen to read your blog. It is a way of keeping in touch with friends, and family to let them know what's happening in your life. It is a way to write down your feelings and express your self. It is a way to find release in writing down your innermost feelings. I wonder how many strangers and people read the blogs who don't know us; who don't know anything about our lives until they read the things we write.

It's been awhile since I checked my blog, or wrote anything here. I'm not really sure why. I haven't particularly felt up to blogging recently, nor have I felt up to doing a whole lot of things as my pain as increased, and my allergies and sinus have acted up. I've also been feeling really stressed out financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually..... I'm not really sure why. It seems to often happen at this time of year. For many it's the winter months that bring on the emotional stress; the darkness, and short days of sun, not getting out amongst people in the same way, and often a difficult time financially after the crunch of Christmas.
I used to enjoy mother's day, but since my mother is no longer alive, and I have no mother in law, or grandmothers, and I've allowed myself to grow apart from soem certain people, there is no one for me to really concern myself about. It was also on mother's day last year when we lost our precious Sheltie of 10 years. I still miss him, although we now have another Sheltie to take his place.

Finances are really tight...and that's a big issue and problem around here. I am not able to work, and yet have been unable to qualify for any sort of pension, and disability plan. I live in constant pain. I hurt all over some days and can't hardly move. My legs are painful most of the time, and the worst is in my knees with bone rubbing against bone because the cartiledge is all worn away. I'm not really sure where it goes to but apparently it's all gone. My energy levels are minimal at the best of times, and I am finding my life pretty stressful at the moment. There are a lot of things I just cannot talk about or share on here because it's not the thing to do.

I've also been spending time on a site called "Gather". I go to gather to write stories, poems, interesting things about me, and I'm able to read what others have written about themself, or the various stories that they have written. It seems to be a rather friendly group of people who share some common ground in the interest of reading and writing. I think it's a great site, and I just wish I had more stamina and ability for writing and for doing the work that is needed to become a writer. It is something I do enjoy doing. Better yet, it would also be a perfect answer to my prayers, as it is something I would actually be able to do here at home, without worrying if I'm able to get out and work at a regular job.


Gather= http://www.gather.com/my.jsp?memberId=23518


If anyone enjoys writing, be it short stories, poetry, real life stories. etc. then Gather is an interesting place to be. I know I enjoy it. As for blogging here, I do the best I am able to, which lately hasn't been much writing on here.

Perhaps another day ....