This seems to be one of the busiest summer's that I've ever had. I feel like I'm constantly on the go, running here & there, trying to get my dad places, taking the girls places and picking them up,going to a few friends places, but still not making it to all the places I would like to be able to go. How can things be so busy that I haven't got time to have coffee with a friend, or go to visit someone for a little while? I'm still trying to figure that one out. Guess by the time I get home after running about, I come in and have other responsibilities, or I'm ready to crash. Just trying to keep up with the basic housework has become such a chore for me. I had hoped this summer would be a better one for me with the pain, and it had started off that way, but the past few weeks the pain in my legs & back has been awful. Some days I go to stand up and feel like I haven't got enough strength in my legs to do anything. I know I've got too much weight on, but it's such a vicious circle. I'm supposed to try and exercise, then when I do, the pain gets worse and it lays me up for longer than I care for. The added running around takes time, and just the basic job of going shopping leaves me in such agony that I cannot do anything more than I need to afterwards. The pain & cramping in my legs gets so bad, that somedays I'm not sure how much longer I can stand it. You see I have two bad knees that are full of arthritis. Some days it feels like bone rubbing against bone. Other days the pain seems to spread up and down my leg and make it worse. Eventually I will have to have surgery on my knees, but they don't like to do anything till you're older. Perhaps because their are a lot of people who are worse afterwards, and the success rate isn't so good...? I also have the osteoarthritis all through me, and although it seems to be worse in my knees, there are days when the pain is really bad in my neck & shoulders, or my hands.
The heat & humidity that we seem to be experiencing this summer also is hitting me hard and causing more swelling, and pain with the fibro and arthritis, and for some reason with the fibromyalgia, our internal thermostats don't seem to adjust properly and we tend to feel the extremes in temp. and have more problems. When it's hot, I seem to feel extra hot, and these days I've been feeling like I ran into a brick wall at full speed or had someone run into me with a truck. Thank goodness for the air conditioning in the house. I don't have it in my car, so I've really been noticing it this year, because I've had to be out running about so much. Isn't it funny how we use words like that...because I'm really not doing any actual running. I only wish I could somedays.
Then there are days when I'm not too bad, and I try to enjoy those days and times the best I can. The pain medication helps, and so does the anti-inflammatory, but it certainly doesn't get rid of things. If I miss one of these pills then I certainly know it. I'm really not complaining. Life goes on and I do the very best I can most of the time. I feel blessed to be here, and to have this time with my children & family & friends. There was a time after the delivery of my youngest child that I almost died, and thought I'd not be here to see my children grow up. They are all wonderful miracles in my life, especially my two daughters who came along later in my life. I thank God for every day that I am here with them, and able to do as much as I can.
My house is very cluttered, and at times I'm afraid it's not always that clean. There are many things that need fixing, but we either don't have the funds to fix things, or the time & energy. Because of that, there are a lot of jobs that need to be done and things that don't seem to get done. Jen is a wonderful help when it comes to cleaning and she had certainly helped to organize some things, but she's often busy with her own schedule.
We've been blessed with some wonderful friends who help us out, and spend time with us, and allow us to spend all sorts of time in their swimming pool, and at their home for various activities. There are so many other people in our church who have become such special & caring friends, and I am so very grateful for all of these special people in our lives.
To add to these special blessings, I have discovered so many wonderful friendships via the internet, and come to know some very special people who have touched my life, and been there for me at times when no one else was there, except for my heavenly Father.
I live with pain daily, but one day that pain will be gone when Christ takes me home to be with Him. I pray that these wonderful Christian friends I have found will be there to walk with me thro' those golden gates of glory when I can walk without pain once again.
Until that day, all I can do is to do the best I can, and just take things one day at a time.
Blessings & Hugs to all who read this.