A few sites I'd like to share

http://www.restministries.org/
A place with devotional's, esp. for people with chronic pain & health problems.

www.rbc.net RBC Ministries
Our Daily Bread devotional's

http://www.orangevillealliance.com/
My church website

http://orangevillealliance.com/v-web/bulletin/bb/index.php
Touch Community Conversations

http://www.truehues.com/index.php
A Canadian Website for people suffering with fibromyalgia

http://www.fibrohugs.com/
Fibromyalgia site

http://www.geocities.com/his_strength_i_need/index.html
nice prayer site

http://www.murajodavis.com/index.html
Gallery of prints

http://www.bookcrossing.com/home
Want to share your books to someone else?

Do you have peace in your life and in your heart? Do you have the feeling that there is something lacking in your life? DO YOU KNOW GOD?

If you want to fill the void in your life, then seeking God is the answer. Why not pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Holy Spirit:

Dear Father, I acknowledge that I am a sinner, and that I have made a choice to do things my own way. I need you in my life. I thank you that Your son came to this earth, and suffered & died on the cross on my behalf. He willingly gave His life for me, and I now invite Christ to come into my heart and to fill me with Your Holy Spirit. You have promised in your word that all a person has to do is to come to you, and ask you in faith, and accept your love. Father forgive me my sins and come into my life. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with your Holy Spirit. Amen

Resting in Him

Over the past few months, I've been fighting depression, and experiencing a flare-up with my fibromyalgia. I have good days and bad, but lately there have been more bad than good. I certainly hope that a change in weather brings about a change in this fibro flare, and that somehow there will also be a change in things that are going on in my life.
Today the pain has been really bad. It hurts not only to get up and walk, but just standing or sitting. The pain is all over, from my fingers to my toes, from my head & neck, thro' my back and down my legs. My legs,neck & shoulders seem to be the worst of these areas, and I'm really weak getting up and down the stairs. I've been sitting here in a fog all day and feeling like I needed to get some paperwork done, but unable to concentrate on any of it. I get really frustrated with myself when I get like this and nothing seems to really get done around here. I know I need to be doing more, and I really do try, esp. when I'm having a better day. After reading someone else's blog today, I'm beginning to realize that perhaps this is one of those days when I need to learn to rest in the Lord, and be content in His surroundings and start counting my blessings and be thankful for the good days and for all I have been blessed with in my life. A roof over my head, food on the table, family, friends, a place to worship & praise God, and the ability to be able to get up and sing in our worship team. All over this world there are people so much less fortunate in all of these areas. I need to remember them and ask God to watch over them and to bless their lives & enrich them. I need to be thankful for a day to just rest as I need to and to enjoy the wonders of having a computer and being able to communicate with others thro' it. Even when I am confined to my home by my pain, I am never alone. God is with me always, and I have a means of reaching out to others thro' the phone & the computer. Amazing creations...
There are others who need my prayers, and I need to make better use of these days of rest and spend more quality time reaching out to my heavenly Father, and take my focus off of what I'm feeling, and as I do this, learn to Rest in Him.

Reaching out...

It's hard to understand sometimes why certain things happen in our lives...why we have to deal with various illnesses, or losses, or see our loved ones suffering, or even be going thro' our own ordeals.
I keep praying about things, but find it difficult to understand why I don't always see answers to those requests. I'm slowing learning to realize that everything has to work according to God's own time & plans, and that sometimes when we don't always see the answers to certain things, it's not because God hasn't heard those requests, but that He has His own plan for things, and that sometimes we have to learn to wait for the answers. I've also come to realize that sometimes God does say NO. I can't begin to say I understand why or how come things work that way. I know as a parent there are times when I have to learn to say no to my children. Sometimes that's not always what I want to do, but for various reasons, no sometimes has to be the answer & response to some things. We have to learn to look at things, and make decisions according to what we see & know. Sometimes it hurts to say no, and sometimes it hurts to say yes, and to allow my children to take wing and to learn to start going out on their own and making their own choices. I suppose our heavenly father is the same way. There is only so much He can do for us, and He has given us all the freedom of 'choice', and making our own choices, even tho' sometimes we make the wrong choices, and have to suffer because of them. We all have to learn the difference between right and wrong. We also have to learn communicate with our parents and our children and with others all around us. In the same way, God wants us to learn to communicate with Him, by reading His word, and by talking to Him in our daily walk, and fellowshiping with others. It's hard to know what someone is thinking if they don't communicate. We certainly have many advantages open to us nowadays that we can use for communicating. We can talk in person with someone, we can phone them, we can write them or we can email them, but we have to take that step of reaching out and trying to communicate, and talk to others. I'm not saying it's easy for everyone. I know it's sure not for me. I struggle everyday with reaching out and learning to talk to others and to communicate my feelings.When we are able to talk to others, it can be a blessing sometimes for both parties, and be a way to let others know you care about them. Sometimes it's a way to just let others know how you yourself are feeling, as well as to share & be encouraged. Sometimes when I do share something, it's only to be cut down or discouraged because of what I might say or how I think, and then I find myself withdrawing and backing off, and not wanting to even try and share with that person again. Sometimes the trials & problems of my life feel overwhelming and I just can't move past them, and I struggle with the feelings of depression and not being able to reach out to others. It's during those times when I need someone to reach out to me and to try and understand what I'm going thro' or to just listen. It's during those times it's sometimes hard to even reach out to God and to pray or to read my bible. I know there are others out there who have felt that way as well, and that I'm not alone. It just feels that way sometimes. I do know that no matter what, I am not alone...that God is there ALWAYS, and He will listen and reach out and understand when I certainly don't. He loves me despite my failures and despite my sins. In the same way, I love my children no matter what. They are a part of me, and I love them with all of my heart & soul, and I know that my love doesn't compare to the love God has for me or for others. He is a loving God, and when we make mistakes, sometimes He may punish us, when we make choices that go against His wishes, or desires for us, He may also step back and allow us to learn from our mistakes, because we do have the freedom of choice. That's what I do must learn to do with my own children. Sometimes I just feel like He is so far away, and that the problems in my life will overtake everything else. It's during those times I need to keep trusting in my Father to look after me and to help me get thro' those times. He also wants us to reach out to others in Love, and to uphold them in prayer.
No matter what our needs or desires, we just need to know that God is there for us and He just wants us to follow HIM, and reach out to Him thro' all we deal with.

Yet another thing..........

It may seem a trivial matter to some, but it's only been a week from today since I lost my one dog. Mother's Day is hard enough at times, because I miss my own mother, and because I never hear from my one & only son on special occasions such as this day or any other day. He feels he has valid reasons for staying away and doing his own thing, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I try to pretend it doesn't matter, when it really does. I know we all suffer a loss at some point in our lives,and it isn't easy for anyone. Sometimes, it just seems like there are so many losses & dreams that fall by the wayside as well as through the cracks. How do you go on? The only thing I'm finding I can do is to try and keep praying and laying my heart and soul at the alter for God to see & pick up. All I can do is to try and pick myself up, wipe off the dust and keep tying to move on. Life goes on no matter what I do anyway.
Today I have to take my other dog to the vet for her regular checkup as well as to see what I can find out about a lump she has on her side that has doubled in size almost overnight. All I can do is to pray about it along with my children. I don't want to think about anything else happening to this one, esp. right now.
At the moment, I need to get some sleep before the morning comes, so guess that's what I need to go and do.

Rainbow Bridge

It's hard to say where our pets really go, but for now I can always hold on to the hope that my faithful 'fur' friends and family members will all join together in heaven one day. I always liked this story about the Rainbow Bridge so thought I'd share it.

Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...


Taken from the Pet Loss Grief Support Website

Losing a fur friend

This past weekend, Mother's Day, I lost a close family friend. Someone who always listened to me, if I shared my hopes & dreams, who was there for me all of the time,who offered comfort, as well as friendship,was a loving companion, and was just there, willing to accept whatever time I had to offer.
I know some people won't understand my loss, or my families loss. Others might think I'm crazy. But for anyone who shares a love for animals and their family pets, they will understand.
This past weekend our dog Casey came down sick. He continued to get worse, and wouldn't eat at all. What little fluid he managed to get down just came back up and I was worried about dehydration. Apparently that was a genuine concern. Apparently by the time we rushed him to an emergency vet clinic, he was dehydrated and in shock. His organs were starting to shut down and he was not doing very well at all. It doesn't take very long for this to happen when your pet is not keeping fluids down and it is difficult to force fluids into them if they won't drink on their own.
The on-call vet, which he had to be taken to was 25 miles away. They began working on him immediately and got him on IV & oxygen, and trying to stabalize him as they proceeded to do x-rays & blood work, and various tests to try and determine what was wrong with him. My husband and daughter had taken him in, and were finally told to go home as there wasn't anything they could do at that point by staying. There were several phone calls back and forth and eventually it was determined that he had cancer in the pancrease & liver that was spreading thro' the area and they really didn't feel there was a lot they could do for him. We decided we did not want to see him suffer, and with great difficulty, made the decision to have him put to sleep. My husband & daughter went back down, and were with him while the vet injected the medication to end his suffering. I wish I had the courage to go with them, but instead I fell apart emotionally and just broke down in tears. To add to my upset, the crying left me with a migraine and I spent the rest of the day in tears, and in bed.
I was pregnant with my youngest daughter when we got Casey 11 years ago. He was a cute little puppy, only 6 weeks old when we got him, and quickly fit into our family and lives. He loved to go for walks and to be with us. He usually slept in whatever room we were in, or came to lay beside us. He let us know when someone arrived home, or if there was someone at the door, or a few times when we had prowlers outside our home. The children grew up with him, and he was loved by us all. My husband felt he was his dog, the kids thought he was their's, and for me he was mine. He was a friend to us all, faithful & loving right to the end. He loved his food, and anyone else's that he could get, but there were certain things he seemed to look forward to. One of those things was fruit.If you were eating an apple or banana, or even picked one up he was right there waiting for a piece. This morning as I peeled my banana, I broke a piece off to share with him but he wasn't there to share it with. When I had an apple the other day, he wasn't there waiting for the last bite. When we get up in the morning, he's not there asking for his breakfast or to go out. When 5:00 pm arrives he's no longer here talking to me, reminding me that it's time for his food & pill. Funny how he seemed to know the time of day! For about a half hour he would pace back & forth, and look at us and bark to let us know it was time. No longer is he there at the door to greet us as we walk in the door after being out somewhere, or bugging to go outside.
Rattle his leash, or shake a bag out and put it in your pocket and he was right there in anticipation, waiting to go on a walk. Those are just some of the things that he did, and how he shared such a big part in our days.
We've had a few rough times when he was sick after eating something he shouldn't have, when we've had to rush him to the vet and leave him there for care. There were a few times when it was touch & go if he would make it, but our wonderful vet people somehow managed to save him for us. It wouldn't be the first time that I've sat by his side on the floor of the vets operating room waiting for him to open his eyes after an operation, and just sitting there petting him and talking to him, and letting him know how much I loved him and giving him a reason to keep on going. We were there with him as he suffered his first seizure, and as they started getting worse. During those times all we could do was sit by him and pet him and talk to him and let him know we were there and that he was going to be ok. We spent a lot of money looking after him and trying to keep him healthy & ok, but he gave us so much more in return.
This month he would have been 11 years old. I suppose if he hadn't developed cancer, there may have been more they could have done for him and perhaps he would still be here to share many more years with us. They often say that dog years are equivalent to 7 of our years. Well if that's true, I suppose that would make him about almost 77 years old. I'm not really sure if that's so, but I do know that the average age for dogs like him are around 12-15 years.
Casey is gone now and I can only hope that he is no longer suffering and that he's crossed the rainbow bridge for our pets and is up there running about with all the other family pets we've lost. He is gone, but certainly not forgotten and I know it's gonna take awhile for the heartache to ease and for the awful feeling of loss to lessen. Right now it is all too fresh, and I miss him terribly.
Our last dog, Cindy lived to be 18 years of age. She was definitely more my dog than anyone's, but certainly a special family companion. She did have a good life and when she had a stroke and lost the use of her back end, and could no longer get around we were forced to do what was best for her. Unfortunately we've also lost a few other pets early. The dog Casey replaced, Scottie, only lived to be 7 years old. He too had cancer, that showed up in the lymph glands in his neck and caused his face & neck to swell up so he was having problems breathing. It was an Easter weekend when he lost his life to this, just 11 years ago. Years before that we had also had a cat. Sampson only lived to be about 6 years old and took sick one Labour day weekend, and died. We felt he had been poisoned, but we were never sure.
Thankfully we still have our whippet Honey, and only a few years ago we decided to provide a home for a cat that we got from the humane society. Her name was Greta, and she was a lovely 8-10 month old tabby cat when we got her. It didnt' take her long to fit into our family or to make fast friends with Honey. Casey accepted & tolerated her, but I can't say they became fast friends.
Honey runs to the door when one of us comes in, and when she goes out she stands there looking as much to say "where's Casey?". They were friends & companions together. At least Honey & Greta still have one another.
Life goes on, and thankfully we are still blessed to have two special family pets to care for and love. Hopefully they will live longer, & healthier lives, and be around for many more years to come.

Where is God

Look all around you
At skies so blue
The clouds so soft & flowing.
The trees reaching out so tall.
Each spring those trees sprout buds,
And from those buds come flowers & leaves
So fresh & new & vibrant.
Flowers push their way thro' the ground,
And bloom in brilliant colours,
With many scents that flow gently thro' the air.
Birds spread wings and soar thro' the heavens,
Or perch upon the branches singing,
With a wonderful melody that fills the air.
Many animals, insects & bugs come to life,
Such beautiful, delicate creations
That never cease to amaze.
Rain, snow, sleet & hail fall from the skies,
Each drop so similar, and yet different.
After the rain, we are sometimes amazed
By the aura of colours as a rainbow appears.
Lakes, rivers, oceans & seas,
A collection of droplets which have flowed together,
And formed a bond from one to another.
Each one unique in it's very own way.
So many wonders & sights to see,
Such beautiful colours, & glorious views,
In each creation, each flower, each tree,
Each sunrise & each sunset.
The stars, the sun & the moon,
All visible signs of creation,
With the most intricate one being that
of the creation of mankind.
Truly an amazing & wonderful design.
Can you truly look around you
And not see God's Glory,
His splendour, His beauty, His love.
Take time to find the silence,
and to truly listen all around you.
Take time to see His beauty,
It's all around you
In everything you see.
How can you even question or doubt?
God's love is so amazing,
A great wonder, for all to experience.
So look all around you,
And delight in His glory's,
And know God is there all around you!

written by D.M.

A Friends Love

You are a gift sent from heaven
A special gift of love
Your arms are a haven
Your love so strong.
Your hands gently comfort
As they reach out to all
Your faith is a blessing
And your prayers are from God.
Bless you for giving
Of your time, and your love
Of your energy, care and your self!
You show God's grace in all you do & say
So thank you for sharing
God's precious gift of friendship
But most of all His Love.

H E L P ~ I NEED YOUR PRAYER

How are you? This seems to be a common question amongst people, or a way to communicate when you meet someone, but do people really want to hear how you are, or do they only want a simple answer of acknowledgement. It is easier to just say I'm fine, how are you, or I'm doing ok what's up with you? What happens when you break that pattern and tell someone how you really are, or what a miserable day you're having? Are they interested? Do they really want to listen & try to understand? Do they really care????? That's something I've often wondered and found people got flustered with when I exclaimed that I wasnt' doing ok or I was struggling. The last time somone asked I was having a really bad day. So do I lie and put on my happy face and pretend that life is a bed of roses? Well the last time I was asked how I was doing I responded with "I'm surviving". The lady looked up at me and said -"you know there are a lot of days I feel the same way, and wish I could just say the same". She did understand and had some compassion and we both smiled back at one another and she went back to her routine questions as I went on with my day and all it's problems.
Ok I know that despite the trials & things I face Jesus is there for me. He is there to hear my prayers, and the cry of my heart and he will hold me up no matter how I respond or what I say.

I'm just wondering how others cope when life's many struggles seem to overtake them and consume their lives. When you are struggling are you able to reach out to someone and ask for help, or ask for prayer or are you afraid to bother people with your problems? Do we need to expose our deepest thoughts & secrets or how we're feeling and explain why we need help? No, not unless the person is truly interested in it and it's something we feel in our hearts we need to share. Jesus promises to be there for us no matter what. It doesnt' matter what the time of day or night is. He will hear our pleas, and our cry for help. He loves us no matter what. We just need to reach out to Him. Sometimes I struggle and have a hard time asking for His help or praying so I need to be able to ask others to pray for me, and just trust in Him to provide.

Right now is not a good time to ask me how I'm doing. I need to reach out and ask for help. Please uphold me in prayer and just ask God to give me guidance & strength to get thro' a difficult time.
I really need your prayer support right now, so I'm using this blog as a cry for help.
God Bless You.

Frustration

Despite many blessings, good friends, and some really great things in my life, life still sucks, and is a constant struggle. Why...how come? I've reached the point of having had more than enough. More than enough what....of struggling with things so constantly and so frustrating & difficult. Whatever, despite it all, life still goes on!

Did I sleep thro' the seasons?

Oh no! It’s finally happened. My body needed to catch up on the sleep that I so often miss. I went to sleep after enjoying a week of spring like weather, and well... I think I slept thro’ all three season’s.

It’s snowing outside, and it’s coming down with a vengence. Big, white, heavy wet snowflakes are falling all around, and the wind is blowing it all over. Everything is white & covered as this winter storm surrounds us.

I missed the rest of spring, and all of summer & fall. I missed the beauty of spring and it’s new growths. Buds sprouting from the ground, grass turning green, buds forming on the trees and new leaves taking form. A cascade of colours beginning, and taking form as the snow melts away, and the ground begins to soften under the warmth of the sun. Birds returning from their winter homes, and scattering all about in song as they find their mates, build nests, and lay eggs. Gentle rains, and days that are warm. In the maple bush tis the season for making maple syrup. (gee, I think today was supposed to be the Maple Syrup Festival). New life begins, and people venture back out into their yards & streets finding jobs to keep them busy after their winter confinement. Summer days filled with the sound of children’s laughter as school ends and holiday time approaches. The cascade of colour that began in the spring, gently explodes all around in the gardens & trees. Playgrounds & parks come alive, swimming pools overflow, summer sports abound, and people are out enjoying the long summer days & evenings. Family vacations, picnics, and time to just sit under a tree listening to the sound of nature while there is a gentle breeze blowing thro’ the trees, rustling the leaves, mixed with the songs of the birds on their branches. Of course there are those hot, humid days where it’s just to hot to be out there, where I’ve curled up in the shade with a good book. Then there’s fall with it’s crisp, cool days, the end of gardens, fresh new crops from the apple trees. . Leaves changing colours of brilliant red, orange & yellow’s, then gently falling to the ground to form a covering over everything. . Flocks of ducks & geese fly overhead in their v-formation as they head for their winter shelters. Open fields filled only with big orange pumpkins indicate a season of thanksgiving harvests, and the end of yet another season. Jack Frost leaves a shimmering spectacle of designs on windows. People seem to disappear and a peaceful quiet falls upon everything.
As a child, I used to think how wonderful it was to see that first snow fall arrive. It was so much fun to dress up and race outside to a playground of pure white; to cast myself upon the ground and spread my arms & legs and make my first snow angel of the season; then to roll that cold, wet snow into a new creation and wonder complete with stone eyes, a carrot nose, and a candy smile-sticks in place of arms and some little stones to make the buttons for the shirt. If we were lucky to find an old hat or scarf, the snowman took on character. There are times when I look out upon the world of glistening white around me and still see an amazing world of beauty & creation. Then reality sets in. Get out the boots, & coats, the mitts & hats, and bundle up. The snow has to be shoveled, the car cleaned off, and I have to drive in that stuff. The weather has no set schedule even tho’ I do.
Today, the snow has continued to fall all day. Large, thick white flakes, wet ones, little ones, with the wind gusting and blowing things around. It’s a thick, wet packing snow, filled with the promise of snowmen & ski days. The roads were slippery, and approaching treacherous when I was out earlier. The sky is grey & overcast with only the promise of more snow to come as it plummets to the ground, and makes driving difficult.
It started falling early this morning and as dark falls upon us, it’s still coming down.
I thought this was the night when the time changed…from winter to spring. Isn't it supposed to spring forward? Am I wrong? Did I really sleep thro’ all those season’s ? Am I dreaming…or perhaps even worse having a nightmare? Has winter returned?

What happened to spring?

STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

http://www.gov.on.ca/MBS/english/myontarioweb/abuse.html

http://www.drirene.com/index.asp

If you know of someone who is dealing with abuse, offer them support, & advice on things they can do in order to get help in dealing with what they are living with. Abuse happens much more than most people are aware of. It's something that happens in every walk of life, and to probably every age group out there. It is not restricted to just one certain type of person, or from a certain walk of life. It is open to every race, every person, every age, and every type of person. Often it happens bit by bit and a person has no idea what is really happening, or doesn't know what to do in order to escape from it. In many cases, there are threats of more abuse, threats to take children, and in some cases threats of death. Unless you've had to deal with it or know someone who has, I don't think most people understand the reality or severity of this problem.
There are many sites available to people on the internet if one has access to it. There are also many hotline numbers out there for those who do not have access to computers, and places where one can go for help.
Abuse is a crime. Don't let it keep happening!

Kidney Dialysis

Do you know anyone whose had kidney failure or is facing the frequent routine of kidney dialysis? I do...my father was faced with his kidney's failing on him a few years ago, and having to make a decision to go for dialysis or not. Yes, it was a choice he had to make. At first, the thoughts of all that was involved in it, left him reeling with indecisiveness and thinking it just wasn't worth it. The staff who provided us with information made sure he was aware that it was his choice to made, and made sure he was well informed about all the things that would happen no matter which choice he did made. Eventually he chose to go the route of having dialysis. This meant starting with a lot of blood work & tests, receiving injections that had to be given at home for awhile by myself, and having an access line put in to his chest surgically. On the same day they did this they started dialysis. When you first start off, you need to be at a main dialysis hospital where there are trained doctor's available all of the time to help when there are problems. This meant we had to drive for an hour in order to get to one of these places, and then while my father underwent treatment, I had 4 hours to fill in away from home. Thankfully it was close to a friends home, as well as some big shopping center's. We made that trip 3 days a week, back and forth for 3 long months. I wasn't crazy about the drive, but my father was finding the drive too much as he would be so exhausted after a treatment, and it bothered him to be on the road amongst all the traffic, bad weather, and road conditions as winter started, and meal times were also affected. For me, it meant having to make arrangements for my children, and my own schedule, and at times when my own health was bad, having to bother friends for help. Eventually, after he was stable in his treatment, he was moved to a local hospital only 5 minutes from home, and thus the journey continuted. He is still faced with making the choice of having his access line changed to the arm, but that too has it's good and bad points, so he hasn't decided on that one. On the days he has dialysis, his whole schedule is disrupted, he is exhausted, and often feeling chilled right thro' and unable to warm up. The rest of the day is often spent drifing in and out of sleep. With the dialysis there is always a risk of bleeding, dizzyness, pressure being affected, the possibility of stroke or coma....and I'm sure other symptoms of which I am not even aware of. It is an evasive proceedure that many face in order to give them some quality of life after their kidneys fail.
If you're interested in learning more about this, check out the following sites.

Here's just a few of the many sites that can be found on the internet.
http://www.kidneycircle.com/index.html or/
http://www.davita.com/index.shtml

Kidney dialysis happens when a person's kidney's quit functioning properly. If they aren't working the person's body begins to fill up with toxins which send poison's thro' the body, and will eventually end up destroying the rest of their organs, and eventually causing death. Dialysis treatments give people the opportunity to live longer, and to continue on with their lives.
Kidney dialysis is a life saving proceedure for many people, and a most necessary one. For most, dialysis means having to get to a place where they do dialysis treatments, and spending on the average of 4 hours, 3 days a week in dialysis. If you don't live near a place where dialysis can be done, many people are having to drive for several hours back and forth to places that do it...or in some cases, patients are forced to remain in places far from their homes in order to receive treatment. It is a very time consuming, and evasive thing to have to go thro' and after that time receiving it, most patients find the rest of their day a write off as it leaves them feeling totally drained & tired.
Before they receive dialysis, patients are shown some of the different proceedures & options available to them. There are also choices to be made in deciding how they want to receive treatments,getting onto a good diet to help you, finding the right vascular access area which is used to provide the dialysis treatment for the patient, and preparing for all of these things. It's not an easy thing for these patients to have to go thro'. Their are risks & side effects to all of this, and making a committment to being there to receive treatment. Often patients have to rely on others to provide transportation, and time to help them. For some, there is the option of home units, which definitely aren't for everyone, for others there is the hope of being put on a list for a kidney transplant. This too in not without risk, and problems, but for the younger patient, is a definite advantage over the frequent treks to the hospital for dialysis. It is something that requires a challenge to both patients, and their families, and also to the many doctor's & nurses who work in this field.
If you know someone in your family who is having to go thro' this process, then reach out and offer your help & support as they go thro' this. It's a challenge that these people have to contend with daily. If you can help in some way, why not do so?

Spring has arrived!

Yesterday we experienced a winter storm & snowfall. It wasn't so great having to drive thro' it, but once it stopped it was actually quite pretty. The snow was thick packing snow. After church ended those who are young or young at heart ventured out into the snow and had some fun running around and throwing snowballs at one another. A few of the drivers decided to try out their experience in driving and stopping in the parking lot. I think if I was in better shape I would have got ride in the middle of it all, or gone out and made a snowman. That's what I used to look forward to in the winter when my children were younger. Watching for the perfect snowy day when the snow was good for packing and rolling into snowballs. This winter has been such a long, cold winter and while I'm sure there were a few days, I don't really remember many where the snow was just right for making snowmen. I wonder if people have strayed away from the art of making snowmen? I don't remember seeing any on people's front lawns or anywhere around the.
Now that winter is almost over, I can think about the beauties of winter. Have you ever stopped to look out over a field, or a forest area after a fresh, new snowfall. It can leave a breathtaking view as you look out over a blanket of pure white, glistening snow. Barren trees, with their leaves all shed are sprinkled & filled with a coating of white on their branches. Even the streets remain snow covered until the first cars start down it and leave their tire tread tracks. As things get busier, the snow is pushed to the sides, and turned into a slippery slush, splashing everything. Children & adults alike venture out into the snow each with their own idea's in mind. Playing, making snowmen, throwing a snowball or fort, shovelling and piling it up, tromping thro'.
After the snow we had yesterday, the ground was completly covered. Everything was still white when I got up today. It was a lovely sunny day out. The temperature has risen above freezing, and I watched in wonder as the snow slowly disappeared, a little stream of it flowing into a puddle at the end of the drive. Patches of brown/yellow grass are sticking up thro' the snow, and there seems to be a few more birds singing in the tree's. As the daylight ends, over half the snow has disappeared. I wonder if this is the end of it all? Today gave us promise of the arrival of spring. Amazingly, today is officially the first day of Spring.
Come on Spring!!

Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Do you know anything about Fibromyalgia, or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome? More than one million patients, barely any research, no known cause, and no cure. Fibromyalgia is a chronic widespread pain with at least 11 tender points, often with Chronic Fatigue symptoms. Chronic fatigue syndrome is persistent fatigue, chronic pain, sleep disturbances, with neurologic, autonomic, and immune dysfunction (a.k.a.) Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.
If you want to learn more, check out FM-CFS Canada ~ Compassion in action.
www.fm-cfs.ca



Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS) is often called the "invisible disease," because outwardly, we may look perfectly healthy. Inside though, we may have intense pain throughout our bodies, we may be constantly fatigued and weak, we may be dizzy, confused, lacking sleep, suffering digestive disorders, and generally living a poor quality of life. There is no known cure for Fibromyalgia, but there are ways to treat the symptoms, to improve that quality of life.

FMS is a type of neurotransmitter disorder, in which the pain-signals that our brains receive are intensified, and our muscles do not get the healing nutrients they need. The current diagnosis is usually made by a Rheumatologist who will find 11, or more, "tender points" on your body.

This site is enormous when it comes to the accumulation of information and knowledge, but is small and cozy when it comes to the personal contact with new friends that suffer the same effects of Fibromyalgia, like you. Come here for gentle hugs, tough love, self-help information, and lifelong friendships. Relax and enjoy ~~ http://www.fibrohugs.com/

http://www.truehues.com/index.php A new Canadian site just starting!

Choices

There are times when I'd like to come here and pour my heart out and share how I'm feeling, but then I wonder just how much information is is good to disclose. How much should we really share of our lives, and will it hurt others if we do. That's a choice & decision I have to make.
Somedays life just seems so full of blessings & joy. Then there are other times when I sit back and wonder WHY ~ How come? When all I want to do is cry out or runaway from it all.... Why is life so hard? Why is it so difficult to do anything? Why are there so many problems to overcome? Why is there so much pain~ physically, emotionally & spiritually? Why is there so much suffering in people's lives?
I know we are supposed to turn to God in EVERY circumstance, be it blessings or needs. He wants to hear from us thro' the good times and the bad. He is a Father who loves us unconditionally and just wants us to come to Him and share our lives with Him. Often when things are going well, we just continue on our way and forget to turn to Him. We should be reaching out in praise & thanksgiving for "ALL" the blessings He gives us in our lives. When problems mount up and bring us down, then often the question that people ask is Why or where are you God or why did you let this happen? He's there, but we have to reach out to Him and call upon His name. It's hard to understand, but God is not responsible for our problems. He only wants to help us. We need to learn patience in waiting for His answers....and even greater to "LISTEN" when He does reach out and talk to us thro' His word or another peson or event.
I'm afraid I'm not very patient these days. I used to have a lot of patience, but lately I find so many things seem to push me to the edge and feeling so overwhelmed.
I thought as I got older & got thro' those difficult teenage years that things would get better. Did they? They changed, but I once again found I faced some things that took every bit of my strength to endure & get thro'. With God's help I did get thro'. Life got better for a time. But the mountains & valleys were constantly changing and life took a lot of ups & downs for me. For another time things were so difficult & so hard to get thro'. I couldn't have done it had it not been for my faith and a God who loves me and helped me thro' it all and provided some good friends to help.
Our lives are affected by the choices we choose to make when we are growing up, and during those different seasons in our lives. Those choices often affect others and ripple out just like the ripple effects in a wave. It would be nice to know the outcome of things when we make a choice in our lives, but we don't. We can look ahead and think about the effects of our actions, but ultimately we should be seeking God's guidance in all we do and thro' all of the choices we make. If we don't choose wisely, then adversities & trials can often come our way and make life so difficult and almost unbearable. When we choose wisely and make God #1 in our lives, then we will discover His loving presense in our lives.
Today I am living with the results of some of my past choices.
Some of those things are good & some are bad, but whatever happens I know God is with me.
Despite the difficulties of raising children, they are a joy beyond all joys. They are a wonderful & beautiful miracle in my life and I am so blessed that God gave me such precious gifts to take care of. I love them with all my heart, and I've known the heartbreak they can be, but that bond of love between a parent & a child is so special. Perhaps one day I'll share how much of a miracle my daughters truly are.
Once you become a parent I think it's a wonderful & amazing lesson in helping us to make us realine that the love we have for our children is nothing compared to the love our FATHER in Heaven loves us. He loved us so much that He gave us His son, and He died for our sins. He suffered beyond measure from people who were cruel & horrible to Him. They beat Him, tortured him, despised Him, made fun of him, and hurt Him in ways that we could never fathom. Even knowing all of these things would happen to Him, He was still there willing to die for our sins. So why can't we accept that love? Why, when He comes knocking at our door not turn to Him and invite Him into our lives? He's knocking and wants an invitation in. Are you going to let Him in?

Thinking

The sun is shining and it seems like a beautiful day out. I haven't yet been outside. I've been sitting in the warmth of my home. As sunny as it is, it is still quite cold out. It's -5 C or 20F out there. So it's not very warm at all. There's a light breeze out there, and the world still goes on no matter what it's doing out there. Most of the trees are bare, except for a few odd leaves that have clung to them over the winter months. The ground is covered in a light covering of snow, and you can see the dead grass popping thro' by the fence posts. From where I sit, I can see a couple of squirrels playing and dashing across the hydro wires. Occasionally a bird flys thro' the trees, or lands on the hydro wires. It's amazing how the birds & the squirrels can cross these dangerous wires and sit on them without being fried from the high powers of electricity. Now that's something that I don't understand or know much about. What a truly amazing invention. They carry electricity from house to house and from one place to another and because of that we are provided with so many new and wonderful conveniences, and sources of power. It's something we often tend to take for granted. Many years ago before my time, people didn't have hydro in their homes. They didn't have electric stoves & fridges. They sure didn't have tv's & radios and computers weren't even thought about. The early settlers relied upon fires, oil lamps, wood stoves. These things were something they needed in order to stay warm, to cook with and to see. There weren't any flashlights either. They used their oil lamps to see in the dark and went to bed early. They worked hard to make ends meet and to survive despite many difficulties and problems they had to face. They worked the ground, raised animals, and tried to live off of the land. If they wanted to go anywhere they walked or they went by horse or horse & buggy. We walk out to our motor vehicles and drive all over the place. It our car doesn't get us where we want to go we rely upon buses, trains, planes..and so many other things that never existed back in the times of the pioneers.
When I was growing up I often wondered what it would have been like to have lived in the days of the pioneers. I was fascinated with shows and books about them and still enjoy them. When I was younger I sometimes wished I could go back to experience some of the things these people did. I'd sit & think about how things might have been if I'd lived back in a past time. They certainly had less distractions in their lives and less conveniences, and they worked from morning to night to make a living and to take care of their families. Times were difficult and people didn't always have very long lives. They struggled against various diseases, they suffered from severe weather conditions, and watched on as many tragedies & things destroyed their crops, their homes and even their families. Their lives were very hard, and yet family committments & values were important to them and something they worked at and tried to protect. They lived close to nature, and around them they saw all of God's creation, and sought to learn more about Him and to teach their family and draw them in thro' family times.
Nowadays people struggle in so many different ways. We've been given so many conveniences & things that are supposed to make out lives easier. We just go to the store and pickup whatever we want, be it food, clothes, electronics, etc. People are so busy running in different directions. Regular family time is almost non-existant. People are forced to work shift schedules, days, afternoons, nights and weekends, and often both parents are working outside of the home relying upon daycare for their children, or leaving them home to get by on their own. Many kids are travelling to school and coming home to an empty house. There is often no discipline, care, concern or help when they are upset or troubled or have something great to share. I'm not saying this sort of life isn't working. Nor is this the way in every home, but some people it is. Some people are thriving on it, and a lot of the kids are turning out fine. Unfortunately there's also a lot of them out there who aren't thriving, who aren't doing ok, who are going thro' hard times. Can you imagine what it must have been like in the days of the pioneers?
Nowadays you don't even have to go out to the store, People get on their computers and order things online. If we don't have the money, then we borrow it, or we run up debts and use charge cards without even thinking of how we are going to pay the bills...well in some cases. I don't want to put everyone in the same category as I know people are different. They all view life differently and they are are living at different levels according to their jobs, finances, health, circumstances in life. Charge cards seem to be away of life and people look at you strangely when you go to get something and they want your charge card as security and you tell them you don't have one. The other day I was checking out some prices on something in an attempt to reduce some bills. I was told I needed a charge card as security to get something that might help . When I said we didn't have one, the person suggested we borrow someone else's card...a family member or friends. What is this world coming to? He didn't want to take a chance on someone backing out of a deal and insisted on security via a charge card and nothing else would work out except to sign something saying you would instead pay their monthly fee's over a certain period. It was a minor thing and something I wasn't even sure I was interested in, but people are so pushy and figure their products are the only things that work and insist that you need to do something about it immediately. I didn't...I told them I needed to think about things and the person acted like I was losing out on a great deal and shouldn't waste time thinking.
I think perhaps he knew if I actually thought about it and compared prices & services, I would find something that worked just as well.
I'm tired of being rushed and told that I need to do things immediately, or I might lose out. If I lose out now, there will always be something else out there. Often something better! I can't go back to the days of the pioneers but I can certainly try to make things simpler.
If I think about things and pray about what I really need, then I'm not going to lose out for God is in control, and He is the one who supplies our needs.
The sun has gone, and the air has stilled, and thro' the cold, another day is drawing to an end. There will always be another day, and another tomorrow...and when the time comes for me when that new day does not dawn, then I'm trusting my God will bring me to my future and His promised land, and all the tomorrow's of eternity. A time when I will no longer have to wonder about anything, when true love will be found, and when I will find contentment & beauty beyond all I can imagine.

How do we view others?

I read someone's blog recently and they were talking about how people judge others by their looks, esp. the young people. I can certainly understand why some people might be judged because of others that have gone before them and spoiled things, but not everyone is the same. Not every group of young people is the same nor is every group of 'old' people. I have to admit that people do tend to look at a group of young people who are dressed differently and judge them wrongly. Often without reason....but I have to say there are many reason's why they are judged. Unfortunately all it takes is a small minority to dress differently, in ways we don't think are proper or understand or like, and have a group of these kids causing trouble, and doing things that are wrong. Immediately when we see someone else dressed in the same way or the same age, we begin to stereotype that age group. It may not be right, but it happens, and I can see why some people do this, but it doesn't make it right. All it takes is a small group of trouble makers to spoil it for others who fit their stereotypes. Does it stop here? NO... Unfortunately many people out there tend to put all people into categories, & groups & stereotype them into the way they see them, and view things. Age is not a barrier in this area, nor is the way you dress. There are so many things that people are critical of: Oh she doesn't dress up or she wears the wrong clothes, he has tatoo's or too many piercings, his clothes don't fit the standards... This barrier goes even further to the point where you are criticized because of your colour, your lifestyle or lack of it, your size, the fact that you wear glasses, or that you don't fit into a certain group.
The old saying you can't judge a book by it's cover is so true!! We are the books...and are covers should not matter or affect who we really are...even though they sometimes do.
Kids are often the most critical of all in that they make fun of one another, and call each other names. "Fatty, four eyes, beanpole, stinky, teacher's pet"....are just a few of the names I remember hearing in school. Back then the teachers really didn't put a stop to those things, or like always, didn't hear most of it anyway. Kids were cruel in their name calling. If you didn't fit into a certain group, or you were too shy, or daring to do the things they thought you should do you were shunned, and made fun of. Those names hurt, and even more it hurts to be made fun of & cut down and ignored, and not included in what others are doing. Why do children do this to those around them? Is it something they've learned from one another or from their peers or parents?
Some youth are great for ganging up on someone who doesn't quite fit into their way of how they think they should look or act. They look at older people & parents as someone from the dark ages, and think they are too old to understand what they are dealing with and going thro'. We all experienced different things...and I know I have not, nor will I ever forget my childhood or teenage years...nor would I ever want to relive or go back to many of those times because of the things I experienced at the fun of others.
Unfortunately being critical is not just limited to the kids, or the youth, nor is it limited to any age, sex, colour, group or area. People from every walk of life are out there being critical of one another, and putting others into the categories they feel each should be in and stereotyping all those around them.
So many people are made fun of and judged because of their colour, their size, their religion, their way of life, their age, their forms of dress & appearance, where they live, what their parents do, how the teacher treats them, the kind of marks they get in school, how socialized they are..............and the list goes on.
This is a problem that has been around since the beginning of time, and during the time that Jesus walked the earth He too was judged, stereotyped and criticized. More than that, He was beaten, made fun of and nailed to a cross where He gave His life in His love for mankind and His Father. Can you imagine the utter despair & pain that He must have gone thro'?
Christ died on that cross for us because of His great love for us. He asks that we love one another as He loved us. That is the greatest gift God provides for us and asks of us....to love one another. If we love someone we will accept them as they are. If we accept Christ into our lives, and His love, He will bless us with His Holy Spirit and with the gift of His Spirit. From there we will be blessed and know the fruits of the spirit where we should live & walk in love. Galations 5 talks about walking in the Spirit and the gifts & fruit of the Spirit which God supplies. If we accept others for who & what they are then we are following what God asks of us.
"The fruit of the Spirit is the direct result of the life of Christ ministered to the believer by the Spirit."Donald Gee
Can we look around us and try to see deep within others and perhaps try to see what Christ sees? Can we honestly say we don't judge others by their appearances, or the way they act & dress, who they hang out with, or how old they are...or any of those many other factors. What do we see when we look at someone new? Do we try to get to know them and to understand them or do we stereotype them upon our first view?
Perhaps we need to look deep within ourselves and see what God is seeing and before we seek to judge, find acceptance & reach out in love...and then we might see others doing the same.

Just another day....

I was awake at 5:30am this morning in terrible pain. I suffer with fibromyalgia, and also have osteo-arthritis, along with degenerative disc disease....meaning some of my discs in my back are degenerating...getting smaller. Thus there are times when they move and the friction of things rubbing together causes pain. This morning the pain was going from the back of my head all the way down into my lower spine and I couldn't sleep or even stand to lay on my back. For awhile it was almost unbearable.Thank goodness for pain med's, and special ointments that can be rubbed on to help. I was actually able to get a little more sleep when the med's kicked in.
Today was church so I had to get up and moving. The car had to be started ahead of time and warmed up since we are getting some frigid temperatures right now, and there was some snow & ice that needed to be cleaned off. I was just going to spend the morning sitting & relaxing but I ended up going up to the front to sing with the worship team. I enjoy singing, but it's taken a long time for me to gather the courage to start singing at the front and to be in front of so many people. I've always shied away from crowds and especially talking in front of them or doing anything. I was perfectly content to stay at home with my books & hobbies, unless it was only one of two friends. I still don't do well in groups, and I get all tongue tied sometimes.
After church a lot of them were going out to lunch so we/my family, decided to join them and go to Montana's. I knew they were going to have them sing to my daughter, but someone decided to blow the whistle and let them know it was also my birthday. That meant they brought two moosehead hats with horns out for us to wear while they sang happy birthday and took a picture of each of us. Now that was not expected.... The hat was only a few moments, but the picture traps that memory forever....yikes. Oh well, all in the fun of things! It was good to get out and be with some other people/friends for awhile.
I don't know if it's this weather, or the way I've been feeling, or just a lot of the stress in my life, but I've been feeling a little down and just wanting to curl up and stay home lately. Somehow my life doesn't let me do that...which perhaps it for the best. (well sometimes)
Anyway, I just wanted to try and write something down. Guess it was just another day in my life!